


I'll find my way back to you.

by Luminouswriter



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, I Love You, I cant lose you too, Love Confession, M/M, Octabriel, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luminouswriter/pseuds/Luminouswriter
Summary: With Bellamy on his way into the anomaly to save his sister, Clarke won't let him go without letting him know she's in love with him. Bellamy promises to find his way back to her.“I am in love with you” she whispers the words to make sure he knows exactly what she means, bringing his face closer to hers “So, please save Octavia and come back to me” she pleads, her hand still wrapped around his neck.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	I'll find my way back to you.

I’ll find my way back to you

Having Octavia stabbed and disappearing in his arms has Bellamy spiralling. He refuses to believe that she’s gone. She went into the anomaly and came back and he believes that’s where she is, despite Gabriel’s warnings Bellamy has made up his mind, Gabriel who is curious about the anomaly, who has studied is for years and also who’ grown quit fond of Octavia has agreed to go with him but they need more people because they don’t know what is on the other side. Belamy decided to go back and get miller and indra, he knows his asking a lot of them but miller has always been his right hand, he also stood by Octavia those last six years under the banker and Indra is like a mother to Octavia.  
Back at Gabriel’s camp his had no luck extracting information out of Hope, echo and him have been at it for a few hours but she has given them little to no information. Echo who gives it a go one last time grows tired and follows Gabriel to where his looking at his books of symbols that match the ones on Hope’s face.  
Gabriel looks up at Echo “You left her alone” he asks alarmed  
“She’s right there, calm down” she answers coolly looking in hope’s direction “She’s tied and gagged …. She’s not going anywhere.  
He doesn’t say anything just shifts his focus back to his book “Bellamy will be here soon….. we have to get ready” he says standing up.  
“Why are helping, you’re the one who said, it was dangerous that no one has ever gone in and come out, other than Octavia but you’re willing to risk that for Octavia and Bellamy?” He sighs heavily “I was in love with Jo for…. Over two hundred years and…”  
“That’s a long time” echo says cutting him off,wondering how this answers her question  
He chuckles faintly “Yeah….. it is and still, with everything, with me wanting her dead for the last seventy years, it still hurts losing her. So I understand Bellamy, how he fought and cried to get Clarke back. He got his girlfriend, wife I don’t know which one she is but he got Clarke back, he literally breathed life into her. To be quit frank with you, I’ve never seen that time of raw, passionate love before. It’s like the words the heart and the head was some secrete love message between them, I said those words and….. he knew he could save her. Given that you guys were asleep for over a hundred years according to him, which means his loved her for over a century. Just like me, But now his sister is gone….. If he had lost Clarke and then his sister…. That pain…. I… in short I’ve lost a lost people over the years, people who have been sacrificed so that I can live. I know the pain. And Meeting Octavia feels like…. Destiny. It’s like I was meant to meet her. anyway we should get ready” he gives her a half smile. He also just lost the woman his loved for centauries and it hurts more than he cares to show. He doesn’t miss the wretched expression on echo’s face “It’s Me his dating” echo says austerely  
Gabriel hesitates, fidgeting awkwardly realizing what he just said.  
“Don’t worry I already knew” she says almost inaudibly. Gabriel sits back down and echo sits next to him “You’re not the only person that knows who has said something, on the ark, before we got together they all of used to say it all the time, he was beside himself every day for six years. Even we were together he would still stand and gaze by that window looking down to earth, remembering her. And when I asked what would happen to us once on the ground I didn’t just mean his sister, that’s another story but I meant what if she was still alive. And it all changed from the moment we found out I could see it on his face”  
Gabriel leans in “Why stay with him” he asks curiously  
Echo has asked herself this question a thousand times she’s never given herself a straight answer “I don’t know, we made a connection I guess, it was nice to have someone, but we both know this isn’t what it should be, I guess that is why I’ve never even been fully open with him about my past”  
Gabriel is lost for words he doesn’t really know what to say either but he does give her some advice “You have to let him go, once he decides to tell her and from, what I witnessed, he won’t be able to keep it inside much longer” Gabriel stands and puts a hand on her shoulder “You don’t want to be in the crossfire” he says sympathetically and walks away leaving her with her thoughts. Moments later she hears his voice quarreling with someone, she stands to go out the tent but stops when she hears Clarke’s voice.  
“I said you’re staying here Clarke” bellamy says sternly, he doesn’t want to tell Clarke that losing her will completely destroy him, with his sister gone she is the reason why his still standing.  
Clarke doesn’t understand why he won’t let her help save his sister “Bellamy” she says his name trying to convince him. Clarke and Bellamy have always put themselves at the front of the battle line, this shouldn’t be any different. “Bellamy” she calls his name again but he ignores her, his emotions are on the surface and being around her, he doesn’t know how long he can keep them from spilling over. He walks into the tent leaving Clarke outside but before she can follow him, miller stops her heading with her to the back “His just looking out for you, you need to stay here, our people need a leader, that is your Job right, it has been since the day we got to the ground” Miller reminds her with a smile hoping to ease the tension.  
“I just don’t understand why he won’t let me”  
“I think you do” miller declares softly.  
Back in the tent “Why can’t Clarke come with us?” Echo asks, already knowing the answer  
Bellamy running a hand through his hair, forcing himself to face echo “We need someone to stay here, to lead and that’s Clarke” Everything right now with him is disheveled, and he wishes the conversation of Clarke not coming would stop. This isn’t just about putting Clarke in trouble, it’s also about the fact that his heart is in pieces about possibly not seeing her ever again. Bellamy turns his back on Echo, focusing on Hope “She really hasn’t said anything” he asks curiously, wishing she would just tell him what happened with Octavia but also because he knows talking about Clarke with echo is the last thing he wants.  
“You’re really planning on leaving without telling her” Echo asks, ignoring his question, her voice icy, she moves closer to him, Bellamy trying not give away anything, his exhaustion clear on his face but she has to do this.  
He sighs heavily his hands on his hips “Tell who what?” he asks annoyed.  
“Clarke” she says and he shifts uncomfortably  
“Echo”  
“Don’t …. I’ve always known. Before you even forgave me, before we got together Raven, murphy all of them talked about you and Clarke how they’ve….. vaguely called you out on your feelings for her” every word she says is sinking in, he can’t deny it anymore, his whole world is collapsing and he feels like his collapsing with it, like soon he’ll cease to exist but will be a pile of dirt on the ground. It’s like he can’t escape being called out about Clarke, its happened way before Octavia disappeared.  
“We didn’t even know if we would be able to come back to the ground, and you said nothing would change, but the moment you found out she was alive, it all changed” she states, and to his surprise she doesn’t say these words with contempt he meets her gaze and he can see the sadness in them.  
“So are you going to tell her?” she asks but he doesn’t answer, his spiraling and she can see that “You’re going to regret it if you don’t” She says and walks. Leaving him with his thoughts just like Gabriel did to her.  
Bellamy has the weight of the world on his shoulders right now, how does he even go out there and tell Clarke he’s been in love with her for over a century now. His going into the anomaly no one can stop him and according to Gabriel no one who goes in comes out, so how does he tell the woman he loves the truth and then leave.?  
He breaths heavily hoping to loosen the weight on his heart. He saunters over to hope hoping he can get some answers before they go in.  
“Is he still in there” Clarke asks echo who is sitting sharpening her sword. Echo doesn’t look at Clarke she just nodes, Clarke starts walking towards the tent and echo speaks “You do know why he doesn’t want you coming right” she asks  
“No… it’s Octavia, he should want me there”  
“He does” echo stands to face her  
Clarke shoots echo a confused look “Clearly he doesn’t”  
“He thought you were dead” she say moving closer to Clarke “And that kind of broke him, once he found out you’re were alive, no one was going to stop him from getting you back ….. he got you back now his sister is gone, putting you in danger isn’t something he needs right now”  
Clarke shoots echo another confused look “Why are you telling me this”  
Echo just shakes her head and turns away from Clarke, but before Clarke can walk away she turns and says “We broke up, his acting dumb, just like you are, we are about to walk into yet another crazy situation, stop being a coward and tell him how you feel. In this world of ours, if you love someone, tell them, you might not get a second chance” she says coldly. Clarke stands there for a second pondering on the words that echo just said to her.  
Clarke enters the tent “That’s her” she asks Bellamy who is crouched over in front of her, “She still hasn’t given you anything”?  
Bellamy stands and turns to Clarke, she isn’t sure what she was expecting but it wasn’t this. He looked at her like she’s all he sees, his feelings were written all over his face, and they echoed hers. They both knew what the other was feeling without a single word being uttered.  
Miller enters the tent them he sees the unspoken words floating in the air, and it’s not the first he wishes they would just say it already. He clears his throat and they both tear slowly from each other to look at him. “I uh am here for the girl” he points at hope “Gabriel says we have to go now” Bellamy turns to Clarke who he half smiles at before taking his bag and following miller who is dragging Hope out.  
Clarke insists on seeing them through to the anomaly, and promises she would go back with Jackson who is walking side by side with miller. Clarke knows she’s going to try and talk her way into going with him. The walk is short and quite everything unspoken floating all around them.  
As they reached the green fog known as the anomaly, miller and Jason kissed and are saying their goodbyes. It dawns on them that this might be the last time they might be seeing each other so Clarke goes over hugging indra, then Gabriel and an awkward hug with echo then miller who she whispers to “Take care of each other”, he smiles and whispers back “We will, and I’ll watch over him” he pulls away from the hug and smiles at her “I promise, just do the same for me” he says looking over at Jackson. “I will” Clarke assures him.  
Bellamy hugs Jackson and promises to watch over miller, then he turns to Clarke. “Clarke” he whispered her name, everything he wants to say still building up inside him “You and I, from the very start even though it wasn’t a great start” bellamy reminds her and she scoffs going back to the memories of their first time on the ground and then recalls that she gave a similar speech when he was heading up to space and she thought she would never him again and tears threaten to spill and he can hardly contain his so he continues “You and I, we’ve watched over our people, together. We don’t know what’s on the other side, one of us has to stay behind, Madi already thought she lost her mother, I can’t take you away from her, our people need you and I need you. I need to get Octavia back first, she’s my sister…”  
“Your responsibility” Clarke remarks  
He nodes and the tears stream down his face, knowing he said she wasn’t his responsibility anymore only to have her ripped from his arms. The words Clarke wanted to say right in this moment were caught in her throat, their stare is intense but then Bellamy softens cupping Clarke’s face, he decides if he can’t admit his feelings the least he can do is tell her this truth “I just got you back Clarke, I can’t lose you too” he whispers. Even though they have been vulnerable with each other this was different, things changed drastically after Bellamy brought her back. He pulled her into him burying his face in her neck holding on to her hair and she placed her lips on his shoulder crying against him. Bellamy wanted to say those three little words but a part of him felt it was selfish to do that and then leave her. He breathes her in one last time, her arms have always been his safe space. He pulls away a little.  
Bellamy pulls her in one last time kissing the top of her head, his hand on her neck, his heart weighing heavier with each second that goes by. “May we meet again” he whispers the words against her and Clarke breaks sobbing into him. Their friend’s faces are full of emotions as they watch Them.  
Bellamy knows, if he doesn’t walk away right now, the harder it’s going to be to walk away from the woman he loves into possibly impending doom. His hands tighten around her again and he pulls away he studies her face, wanting to remember every feature, like he could ever forget. Her beauty is seared into his brain. His eyes move from her to her lips, his jaw clenches and he starts walking away. All their friends look at each other with confusion then at him miller looks at him incredulously and practically calls him a fool with his eyes.  
“Bellamy” Clarke calls out but doesn’t turn to look back, this was already hard “I love you” she shouts and he turns, the revelation of what she just said written all over his face. And all their friends looking at each other in astonishment  
“I love you, I love you” she repeats the words with passion and pain, from all the times she’s wanted to tell him. He didn’t even realize he was walking towards her until she was so close to him he could feel her breath on his face. The jolt of electricity that runs through him can power a damn planet, this felt like a dream, she couldn’t read him, he was shocked, unbelievable happy and unbelievably sad all at once. “I am in love with you” she whispers the words to make sure he knows exactly what she means, bringing his face closer to hers “So, please save Octavia and come back to me” she pleads, her hand still wrapped around his neck.  
His face softens, brushing her hair from her face “You won’t believe how many of times I’ve wanted to say that to you, I love you so much…. I am so in love I should have said something. You asked me once, what I would wish for on a shooting star and I told you I wouldn’t even know what to wish for, but for the longest time, I’ve wished for you. I’ve wished upon the stars, and seen your face on the moon a thousand times” with her face in both his hands he leans into her and their lips collided, and in that moment they were only two people who existed, everything simply just melted away. Their kiss full of passion and longing, it felt like breathing for the very first time. They break from the kiss their foreheads attached “Even if I don’t come back, just know that I have and will always love you” he promises as his voice shudders and she kisses him again, this time it’s softer, a kiss full of promise. Promise that he will die trying to find his way back to her. Once he pulls away, he holds her gaze, looking into her blue wide eyes makes his world stand still. He doesn’t want to but he walks away, glancing at her one more time before disappearing into the green fog with the rest of the team, Clarke can’t help the sobs, Jackson rushes to her holding her, promising her that the people they love will return to them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my work. Please leave a kudos or comment if you liked this piece❤


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